Here I am occupying one of the computers in the school’s open media room (where people go when classes are canceled and it’s raining way too much to go home).
I was just being asked by one of those morons (I have mentioned before, who don’t care for anyone else but themselves) whether I could stop studying and instead do something funny for his entertainment. My tongue still hurts. I had to literally bit on it for the sake of not saying “Such as punching you in the face while everyone is watching?”
This is not an adequate question to be asked in a situation like this by someone who currently represents the Nerd population in our year (as I am the only one working and not gaming or making sounds like a dying rhino – I definitely am representing the Nerds in this very moment). Nerd people are friendly people. They don’t go around bitch slapping morons and douchebags. They might do this in their heads or even create a character in a game named after you that experiences several painful deaths – but they would never show or let you know about it. Also I guess that it must be said that I had some disagreements with this individual which weren’t all about school.
Nevermind.
Actually I was going to write that I am very sorry about not having posted anything on here for some days. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. In my defense: I’m working on my Leaving Cert (which I want to be good). Ok, let’s get back to the drama.
Last Thursday I heard Phyllis telling stories about the arrogant and terrible Scarlett (aka. me) once more. I was standing right behind her and I was being by everyone … except Phyllis herself. Thus she kept on bragging about how she “defeated” the arrogant me and my jealousy (of her … everything).
I had difficulties to not start laughing to not reveal my presence. I managed to get away unnoticed. Later that day, during free class I got very bored and started to look for something fun to do. Or at least for something remotely entertaining. And then Phyllis walked into the room. – Boom – Entertainment detected.
I leaped to my feet, grabbed her chubby arm and dragged her out of the room.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I ensure you there’s nothing wrong with me.”
“Why are you running around, crazy as you are, dragging me outside?”
“Well first of all I am not running. It’s rather walking at higher speed and secondly I am not crazy. My doctors said I am not anymore.”
Her eyes widened in disbelief (happens quite often these days – me being looked at in disbelief. That’s all part of the ‘no-one-gets-my-humor’-story). However, I confronted her with what happened earlier that day (and the 1 1/2 years before) and I also expressed the strong wish of mine to not be bothered with any of her bullshit again.
It didn’t even take a whole minute until she started crying – telling me that she would have never ever in her life would talk about me in a bad way. As always when there are tears a bunch of people gathered around us.
I leaned forward. “Phyllis, if I were you, which I luckily am not, I’d shut up and stop acting. This clearly is not future career option for you,” I whispered in her ear.
Then I leaned back and looked at some guy in our audience. “Move!”
He kept staring at me. “Or you’re the next.” To my very own surprise he immediately took his leave as well did all the others. I guess the word is spreading. Don’t mess with Scarlett – Master of Disaster.
I continued making my point clear to Phyllis (and by clear I mean clear!) and warned her about the consequences she’d be facing if she doesn’t stop getting in my way.
“I hereby let you know that if you want war – you can surely have it. But be assured that it won’t even take me a fraction of the energy to take you down that you will be needing for just defending yourself against only the big bullets. I assure you that you don’t want to cry yourself to sleep for the next couple of years.” (Seriously don’t mess with someone who always is the fly on the wall and who knows the majority of your dark secrets – wrong move.)
She promised to stick to her promise (peace) and wiped away her tears. A couple of minutes later I was back to doing my homework with my people (and Jason). Phyllis suddenly sat next to me. “Do you want to copy?” She really is like a parasite that offers you something only for the slight chance she can use it against you later on.
Everyone stopped doing whatever they were doing and looked at us. I gave her a quick look that was meant to say Don’t even try! but as my ears kept hearing blahdiblah I figured that she’s not that good with interpreting looks she’s been given.
“Are we good now,” she asked. “I don’t want this to bother you for any longer.”
“Phyllis, in contrast to you I do know what you’re on about and I can promise you that this wasn’t bugging or bothering me in any possible way. You are just too unimportant and this became just a kind of entertainment.”
“Do you want to copy now?”
“Phyllis, please for the sake of the Lord’s son. I know you know only a little but I assume that you do know that you and I are never going to be friends. Would you know please pack your things and get out of my face. And everyone else’s face as well. But especially mine.” I waited for her to disappear. “And no, I am not going to fix your art project – no matter how much you pay me.” (she gave me several hints earlier that day, that she needed some help – I usually do help everyone who says ‘please’ when asking me for a favour).
Once she was gone people went back to their homework. With a big, fat smile on their faces.
Today’s Wednesday and I still haven’t heard even a whisper of her usual stories. I should make annoying people cry more often (no – this would ruin the big effect it has on others). After this I was told – by a random person from my year – that she is going to name her kids after me. How can one person be hated that much? Seriously. I would feel sorry for her if I liked her.
Even though this chapter seems to be over I today had another extremely unpleasant experience. When I was talking to Carter I just realised that I am extremely allergic. Unfortunately there’s no way to cure an allergy and my allergic reactions are quite severe. It once more resulted in me having to leave the room.
The doctor told me that being allergic to bullshit is not an approved excuse to empty out water bottles over people’s heads. My bad. Also being surrounded by idiots doesn’t cause a headache. Well in my case it does!
Keep it dramatic!
“They might do this in their heads or even create a character in a game named after you that experiences several painful deaths” .. hilarious! :)