No matter how much a person I meet ensures me that he or she doesn’t judge people I never really get to believe it.
Let’s be honest, at least for a split second. We all do judge. Wether we want to or not. Same here. I find myself judging way too often. As in judging a stranger before you get to know them. Not when a friend tells you that he did some messed up shit. That’s a different kind of judging – at least to my mind – but that’s also another topic.
Whether it is the middle-aged, big woman with greasy hair and clothes that smell like they haven’t been washed in a long time or the guy who probably is the same age as me but wears all brand clothes, a bigger watch than the new Iphone (not to forget that he owns the latest version) and whose attitude let’s me think of some posh asshole.
At the end of last year I was working out in my local gym and saw that woman working out there too. She wasn’t really pretty, had a bit too much on her hips and didn’t really look as if she cared for her appearance. I caught myself looking at her every now and then and thinking to myself I’m glad that I’m not her.
My thoughts got carried away and I kept doing my workout. Some time later someone tapped on my shoulder. It was that girl. All I thought was Jesus, what the hell does SHE want?!
She spoke with a really nice and caring voice and told me that I was doing the exercise wrongly and that she wouldn’t like to see me with a backache because she usually wouldn’t find the courage to talk to strangers but now forced herself to tell me.
I instantly felt so terrible and ashamed. She was the sweetest person I met that entire week.
After this encounter I set myself the goal to become as close as possible to being not judgmental. And because of that terrible feeling I had that evening (it didn’t go away for a long time) I could stick to that resolution most of the time.
It helped me a lot in my job, especially because I often meet the strangest of people. No matter if they are gaming nerds, science geeks, old and sinister people, confused elderly woman or just people who look as if they don’t care for hygiene the tiniest bit. (Sure that last one really is the hardest, but that’s part all part of not judging.)
I admit that sometimes the thought that ‘d rather don’t want to be around these people comes to my mind but I do my best to silence these kind of thoughts.
Most of the time there always is a reason behind the way these people are or why they look the way they do – sometimes there’s no reason at all.
Since I approached people with this attitude I got to know so many people I wouldn’t have met otherwise – on a second though I really would have liked to have met some of them.
The irony is that those from whom I expected the less of anything mostly turned out to be the kindest and friendliest and sweetest.
The big woman with the greasy hair and the worn-out clothes might have lost her job recently or something even worse might have happened to her. The fella with the brand clothing and the super-rich attitude might have everything that can be bought with money but really is just looking for a true friend or appreciation.
It’s sometimes wicked how our world works. But that is no reason to judge things before we get to know them.